Well

What can I say this morning really? First thing is THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY. I is be busted...tired beat out...not functional......exhausted child(as my Bahamian friends would say). OK....I think you got the picture. This week has been hot and busy.

My group completed our group assignment this week and it looks impressive if I do say so myself. Real question is whether the tutor will be impressed by the work we put into it. It's the written part of the presentation we made last week so I don't see us doing badly. We had gotten pretty good grades for the presentation.

Tomorrow I have a course test in Management Accounting. That should be fun since I am definitely not relying on the tutor for guidance. As a matter of fact I have all but written him off as a part time comedian, cuz him joking himself. I find him to be unhelpful and unaccomodating to the students. He has a speech impairment and it makes it difficult to understand him. Not to mention that he is not open to discussion and add all these together makes for one really confusing class. It is a blessing that the lecturer of the course is quite the opposite so we better learn in the lectures and hope that we catch it all there cuz the tutorials aren't much use at all.

Anyways I was just saying a quick hail up. I gone try get in some book time before work.

Humour is the key to life

The Hen Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven." "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately." "It's not that easy", said St. Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own." Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen," Tom replied. And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?" "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my azz is about to explode." "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg." "How do I do that?" Tom asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can." Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Tom, for goodness sake! Wake up! You're sh!tt!n' all over the bed!"

Today is....oh yeah..Tuesday.

Bit of old age getting the better of me there. Well I am officially bored. School drawing to a close and exams due in 2nd week of August. Other than that nothing going on. Can you imagine, not even the weather giving us something to write about.

Sunshine is back with us and seems to have enjoyed her vacation. Blogging tradition dictates that she buys a cyber round. Welcome back Sunshine.

Did lots of garden and auto cleaning work over the weekend. Still feeling the effects of it. Dogs wouldn't give me a break last night. Figure that a 2 footed mongrel may have been nearby but they stayed far.

I have some vital info for some...Ladies, mesh tops do not prevent your nipples from being exposed. They cannot pass as shirts without some sort of undertop. Seems nobody told some of the women this fine detail. Seems that I've encountered at least 3 such cases since Saturday. Where are our parents. Why aren't they teaching their girls how to dress.

Well I survived a week without family. 1 down 4 to go......will I make it...yes I will. Finally signed up for ADSL service. C&W has a new reduced rate thing so I'm gonna give it a try. cost a tuupse more but might be worth it especially for school.

Anyway I'm rambling. Take care all.

Friday...Musings

On the first day of college (no not UWI), the Dean addressed thestudents, pointing out some of the rules:"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students,and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breakingthis rule will be fined $20 the first time. "He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"At this point, a male Jamaican student in the crowd inquired: "How much fi ah season pass?

What a gwaan?

Well today is Thursday and nothing much going on really.

Family are away and I'm surviving. They called last night and they are enjoying themselves. Decided to go the easy route last night...bought Chinese food at China Gardens in New Kingston. Food fill the gap yuh hear. It wasn't bad at all and the amount of food would turn you into an immediate glutton. I finished half of the food and was FULL. I couldn't eat a stitch more.

As for me well you know the usual...school work is the most critical item on my agenda for a while. Had a major presentation last night that accounts for 60% of out course work grade. It went extremely well. We made a presentation on the Implications of China as an Emerging Economic Super power to the US, EU, CARICOM and Asia. We were told that our grades should be in the 90's so that is a definite good news. We passed the essay for the Caribbean Econ course with a C+. I hear it is one of the highest grades. The maximum grade gotten by any group from that lecturer is a B- so we aren't gonna complain. A waste of time course if there ever was one.

Got The Shorter One's report card yesterday and she passed all her subjects. She starts grade 9 in September and is doing really well. She has a fear of exams that usually see her failing miserably yet she passes the course work. This year she passes them all...exams and all. Congrats to you "Little S".

Little S is our ongoing name calling. I've called her that for years and she calls me Big S. Little S was me teasing her by calling her "little stinker" and when she caught on I changed it to "little s" which could be mistaken for "littlest". She couldn't say that I called her stinker but she caught on and started calling me Big S and when I tackle her about it she says "no it's biggest". This name calling has been our amusement for years.

Anywayz I gone. Have a great day you all.

Home Report

Well contrary to the title I really don't have much to tell you all. Home is boring without the family. Oh Yamfoot asked about the Tall One...Well he left from a week and a half ago so he is enjoying life in the Big Apple (NY) with his aunt and cousin. Wifey and Shorter One have joined him there for a week before heading to Baltimore. He wants to stay in NY...I suspect because his younger cousin in Baltimore was a pain in the neck on our last trip. Besides "J" his NY cousin is nearer to his age anyway. Plus she has a readimade party companion with him around. School has really started to heat up as exams draw nearer. Well I got back the Caribbean Econ test that I was worrying about. I passed but definitely not with the usual grades. I didn't scrape either but let's just say a sigh of relief went up. This is one course I definitely have not gained anything from. The testing method encourages swatting answers to respond verbatum and I believe one should be able to understand and interpret not just regurgitate. Just can't study that way. Anywayz I just passing through. Thanks for the eating tips guys. Believe me some of them are already being used. Dr.D I will definitely link with you (hurricanes permitting).

Monday..a Brand New Day

Hi all, Well what can I say Emily came, she looked in, didn't see anything of interest and went on her merry way. I ain't complaining at all. Luckily for us it was a tight storm. Most parts of the island had a few drops of rain and nuff cloud cover. Where I live we had one or two gusts of breeze similar to what we use to fly kites in when I was a whole lot younger. South coast parishes had it a bit harder but nothing compared to what could have been. As a matter of fact our airport, which is on a spit and has suffered dearly for its location, was reopened yesterday morning by about 8:00....roads cleared and all. Well, with the reopening of the airport I am now familyless. Wifey and The Shorter One left yesterday afternoon. Big up to US Airways who did everything to accomodate them as they were due to leave on Saturday in the heights of Emily. They were bumped up to 1st class and though there were delays (weather related) I won't complain because it's all good (stole Camp's phrase..hope she doesn't mind...even if she does, I done steal it already so there...). They arrived safe and sound and the flight was good I am told. I will tell you this..I would not want to be an Air Jamaica passenger yesterday. I arrived at the airport to do my drop offs and bucked up the line to get into the airport in between the two round-abouts. The line was about a mile long..... In crawling with the line I realized eventually that the entire line with the exception of a few was for Air Jamaica. There were several hundred people outside Air J's office waiting to go in. Now folks, the airport is under contruction and is outside in sun hot these people standing.....I left most of them there with Air J making announcements of delays and cancellations and flight leaving in the afternoon etc. So officially I am alone for the next 5 weeks. Probably good anyway cuz school work killing me just about now. Final exams for the semester start early August so yuh know how the blog thing goes when school calls......... Back to the assignment I was working on..so later all.

Here We Go Again

Well folks we Jamaican folk are in for another blowjob. Hurricane Emily seems to have invited herself to our table and we can't get her to leave. We are once again under hurricane warning. Wifey and the Shorter One were supposed to depart tomorrow but that looks very unlikely at this point but we'll see. Right about now most business places are closing with the exception of supermarkets and hardware stores. Emily has be fluctuating between category 3 and category 4 but either way you take it...it's a big mofo storm. I don't particularly relish the thought of being hit with 30 miles per hour winds much less 125 miles per hour...... :( And from the looks of Africa's west coast we may have a storm every week for the next 2 weeks....not a comforting prospect at all. Well school has been on hold for this week and tomorrow is a definite no no so we are gonna be in for it because exams I am sure exams have been set. We are going to be required to do the last few chapters on our own. Guess I'll just start from now. Work is here. Let me not say anymore because I think I work with some of the most inconsiderate, self serving, s.o.b. who call themselves managers. I live nearby so I have no real issues but we have staff that need to get home and do prep work for these storms. If they leave at 4:30 there is nothing that they can do to secure their homes. The government has sent home its staff at 2:00 so why are they sticking out to 4:30? Just plain old bad mind. They will have to answer for their actions if not here certainly hereafter. Anyways to all my blog friends who are yet to feel the effects of this thing..stay safe.

EC on Warning

Well it looks like Emily intend to plaster the Eastern Caribbean with one hell of a sloppy blowjob. We in for a wicked hurricane season this year guys so we better hang on to our hats. 5 named storm systems and 2 that have done some serious damage already with Emily on the way is not a nice prospect. This season goes from June to November, so 5 by July may mean a not so nice summer for us but moreso Florida who seems to catch them at their peak. My prayers go out to all my blog friends who are now bracing for a touch of Emily, especially Kami in SVG, Dorna! and our recent addition Small Island Girl in Trinidad. Guys weather the storm well, stay safe and be as prepared as you can be. Space shuttle is scheduled for launch today. Is not my family or friends on board but I still hold my breath every time that thing takes off. I remember when the shuttle exploded on take off. Back then I was so intrigued by space travel. I was at home sick the day and was glued to the television watching the launch...then booom....:( Then to relive something like that with the most recent loss of the space craft and more importantly more lives. I keep wondering how those families deal with that kind of loss. I wonder if it's really worth the time and effort we are putting into space exploration...to boldly go where no man has gone before....these are the voyages of the.....sorry wrong sci-fi. Anyway enuff rambling for me..Dr. D should be back but I haven't been by his site yet so...... Stay safe guys.

hey.....Where are you all

Was just looking around the blogs and realized that a lot of you are in my boat. Nothing really going on and lots of blogs suffering from summer vacation syndrome. Not to worry just part of life I guess. Well I'm gearing up to ship out my family for about 5 weeks. The Tall One left for New York on Saturday and Wifey and the Shorter One leave on Saturday but their visit will span New York and Baltimore. So I get dumped into bachelor life for a while. Guess I'll live on junk food and water for the time cuz I can't bother slaving over no blasted stove. Dennis came and left but it looks like he invited Emily over so we are keeping a close eye on her. I haven't had any problems just a few leaks so I'm good. All the utilities are intact. School is good. Haven't failed any courses yet although my reading is close to zero. Have to deal with that soon. I am still maintaining a pretty decent average so I just need to stay focused. Anyway I'm gone. We'll chat some more later.

Weekend Humour...Post Dennis so to speak

A young blonde was on vacation & driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. Becoming frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Then, she spots huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out, "OH CRAP! THIS ONE IS BAREFOOT TOO."

1st Post for the Week

Well I was actally ill for the 1st part of this week. It all started on Sunday night. Sunday was the Tall Ones graduation. He is no officially no longer a high school student. Where did my baby go?? :( Anyway, after graduation, which was a little bit of a let down because of how they did the ceremony, we stoppoed for food. Needless to say my stomach said "REJECT!!!" in no uncertain terms. So that took me out for Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday it took me over an hour to get to work. Needless to say I was sooooooo late but that's life. Well by now most of you would have heard that we are under hurricane warning so in a matter of hours we are supposed to be having some "fun" with Dennis. Hope the effects are minor to none. Right now it's just light rain and we had a bit of breeze earlier. Yesterday however, I had to wait until a lightning storm subsided before venturing out. Those bolts were dropping all over the place so guess who wasn't gonna be no hero and go playing with no Zeus rods. Anyways I not sticking around with you this morning. I just wanted to say hi and to tell the other Yardies to stay safe. The rest of you keep us Jamdowners and the Caymanian posse in your thoughts and prayers as we weather the storm. Peace all.

Mixed Feelings

Well today brings mixed feelings especially to wifey and her family. Today she loses the closeness of one of her family members, her oldest sister, who leaves Jamaica for the last time for many years to come. "M"'s was granted immigrant status for the US a few weeks ago. She leaves today for her new home in Maryland for a while and then possibly to New York. I say mixed emotions because wifey's family is relatively small and I know she and her sisters are close. "D" migrated many years ago and since then she has lost her mother, and earlier this year her only surviving uncle on her mothers side of the family. Her father's side of the family has been eons apart from before I met her some 22 years ago. "M" has had to struggle terribly as a single parent and as one who is not academically inclined. She has had to settle for lesser jobs because of this. So although it is sad to see her go the move actually opens many opportunities for her in terms of schooling and employment. I know wifey is a little down now but she knows it is for the best. So I will go no further but to wish "M" a safe travel and all the best in your new life. May you find what you are looking for. Remember that Jamaica is just around the corner in today's modern world of air travel and telephones and internet access.